


the moon is bright tonight

by closette



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Fights, Fluff and Angst, M/M, the last tag is the alt ship name for superbat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 00:17:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20218666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closette/pseuds/closette
Summary: Clark and Bruce fight. Unlike their other fights, this time Clark walks away.





	the moon is bright tonight

The nerve in Bruce's neck looks like it's about to pop out and start spraying blood, Clark thinks distantly. 

It's a distraction from the anger that bubbling under his skin, and he's putting his considerable control into fighting the shaking that began from his fists but has now traveled all the way up his head and down his feet. 

He doesn't dare flex his hand, even to lessen the tension; afraid that if he lets go even by a tiny margin, he's going to lose control and start shouting things he can't turn back from. Things that the two of them can't get back from.

It's infuriating though, that Bruce is steady. Hardly shaking - he's simply standing by the large windows of the bedroom, his back to Clark. One would make the mistake of thinking that it's the work of Batman's legendary calm under any situation, if one does not have the superpowers to hear the hammering heartbeat and the slow, low, grinding of back molars against one another.

Why can't he just ever say what he means? Clark thinks, and not for the first time in the years they've known each other. Why, even now that they're together, does Bruce insist on keeping this distance?

Why must there be layers and layers of nuance between them - the mind games, the radio silence, the subtle shifts in tone, until Bruce resolves the issue within his own mind and goes on acting as if nothing happened? 

Why is it always Clark's burden to understand, to accomodate, to read between the lines? He feels like a show pony sometimes, jumping hoops just to prove he can do it.

The rooms in this mansion are crowded with unsaid things, and he's afraid he's going to be too tired one day to fight through and be swallowed whole.

Unbidden, the traitorous thought niggles at the back of Clark's mind, bubbling up in his chest, full of anger and frustration. It's hard to breathe, even though he's the last person on Earth to get breathless. He tries to push it back, but he can't anymore. Not today, anyway. Even Superman falls.

"I'm tired, Bruce."

He turns and walks away, and doesn't see Bruce flinch.

* * *

Bruce stares at the garden outside. It's close to midnight, but it's lit by the full moon, highlighting Alfred's begonias.

Funny, how even when it's supposed to be dark, there's still light. You would think the opposite of sunlight and warmth was complete darkness and the cold. But it seems that balance is light on either side, the absence of it means chaos.

Bruce can feel the darkness closing in, again. It was held at bay, then conquered, but the light that brightened him just walked out the door and finally had enough.

He's finally had enough, Bruce thinks distantly. He feels like a trauma victim in shock, the pain so intense that his mind refuses to register it for his own sanity.

_I'm_ _tired_, _Bruce_.

It was bound to happen anyway. He's all kinds of messed up. What was it that Jason used to say - ah, how the only time Bruce ever expressed an honest emotion was when he cried out loud while being expelled from his mother's uterus? 

He thought that he's been doing better ever since he's let Clark into his life as more than a best friend, but apparently not.

_tired_

He's finally driven him out. Maybe a part of him was testing Clark, seeing how far he can take, and it was unfair, he knew. He was setting the man up to fail.

As the silence stretches, Bruce thinks about before. Back before Clark, back to a time where there's no one waiting for him at the bed at night, rolling over him and bringing him close when he's back from patrol. No Clark in the morning, saying, "Would you look at that, Bruce Wayne eating a carb" on the rare morning he lets himself eat pancakes.

No Clark calling him out on his bullshit, when even he gets too far up his own ass to be workable. It's back to Bruce being alone, again. 

He has his family, of course, and he loves them more than his own life, but they depended on him one way or another. Clark carried the burden with him, and Bruce didn't feel how heavy a burden it was to carry until there was someone else carrying half the slack.

No, Bruce can't go back. He feels a cold chill overtaking him at the thought.

He runs. Clark fought so hard for their relationship, tore down his boundaries and insinuated himself in Bruce's space until he had no choice but to look and see all that they could be, what it could be like if he wasn't alone. Now that he knows, he can't go back, even if he has to grovel low and for long. He hopes it's not too late and that he can still convince Clark to give him another chance, to make it easier for him in return.

It's Bruce's turn to fight for them now.

* * *

He's reached the foyer when he notices a figure lying on the couch in the living room. Feels the coiled tension that's been squeezing his chest slowly unravel.

He's still here. He didn't leave.

Bruce goes over and looks down on the sleeping body, curled on itself as if warding away his own demons. He feels lightheaded; some part of his brain had started preparing for the worst, getting itself reacquainted with the feeling of losing someone important to him. Again.

He stands there, looking. Appreciating how perfect that face is, how beautiful. Remembering to never take anything for granted.

He sits down the edge, then lies down behind him. "If the league could see you now - Batman, the little spoon", Clark would say, on some nights when patrol was harder than usual, and Bruce would say, after a long silence, "...I'm not a spoon, I'm a knife" and squeeze those arms closer around him, greedily taking comfort for himself.

And Bruce would do anything to keep those moments, for as long as Clark would have him.

He risks rejection, swallowing the self-doubt threatening to take over, and slides his arms around Clark. Feels the man startle awake, but Bruce just holds him closer, unconsciously holding his breath.

They stay like that for a few tense moments, Bruce holding on for dear life, Clark unmoving.

Bruce takes a long, shuddering breath, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He takes another, then presses his face to the middle of Clark's shoulder blades, whispering his weaknesses into that invulnerable back. "I know I've been keeping you out, and I know you're tired of always trying to.. handle me. But I want to be better, for you. If you'll have me, I'm going to be better. I love you, I don't want to lose you, I. I.." And Bruce, to his infinite horror, feels himself choke up and stops to gather himself.

But before he could restart his train of thought, he's going to do this, nothing can stop him from letting Clark know how much he means to him, Clark turns over and squeezes him hard, holding all the pieces together.

Clark presses his lips upon his head. "I know, love. Let's be better together." He kisses him on the mouth, lightly. "I'll be here Bruce, I'll sometimes be tired but I'm going to be here. You're always worth it."

Worth it. Bruce feels the last of the tension leave his body, relaxing him into sleep. They hold each other on the couch until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic was inspired by a snippet from an ABO fic by [superbaturalross](https://archiveofourown.org/users/superbaturalross/pseuds/superbaturalross) (literally, I read that snippet and can't get this idea for a fic out of my head):
> 
> "The last one had ended with Clark sleeping on the couch, but he’d woken up to Bruce curled up on his chest so, Bruce wouldn’t be surprised if Clark counted that in the win category."
> 
> Also, sorry the reason for the fight is undisclosed! I wanted to focus on the aftermath of the fight itself.
> 
> Read superbaturalross' fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687096).


End file.
